Understand this one thing about conflict: it will occur in any healthy relationship. So if you learn to deal with it in a healthy fashion, you will help your relationship to thrive.
There are a few things you can do that are healthy when conflict arises. Practice these things and you are much more likely to get through the conflict without further damaging your relationship.
First, learn to breathe during an argument. This is harder than it sounds, and may take months to do. But if you can focus on your breathing during an argument, you will stay calmer and keep the conflict from getting too ugly.
Notice while breathing this truism: conflict causes crappy conduct. People act like 8 year old's during conflict. They will scream, throw things, withdraw behind a wall of silence, and otherwise hate on their mates. You've seen people act this way and you have acted this way. Its gonna happen sometimes.
So learn to not take things done or said in an argument too personally. This can take forever to learn, but it is well worth it. In five minutes after an argument, we'll start to act like adults again. Don't let the few minutes of childishness overshadow the good between you.
Another powerful way to deal with conflict is to learn to de-escalate. Keep it from getting more heated as much as you can. Sometimes you need to say I need a few minutes to get myself under control, then walk away. Don't withdraw for hours or days, just a few minutes, as shutting your partner out has been shown to cause great damage to a relationship.
Reconnect with your mate after a fight. Don't let anger turn to poison. Say something like "sorry we went off on each other, are you okay?" Don't go hours or days not talking to each other!
If you can learn to breathe, learn to not take it too personally, and reconnect after a fight, you will be doing great. There is more to dealing with conflict well, but this would be a good start.
There are a few things you can do that are healthy when conflict arises. Practice these things and you are much more likely to get through the conflict without further damaging your relationship.
First, learn to breathe during an argument. This is harder than it sounds, and may take months to do. But if you can focus on your breathing during an argument, you will stay calmer and keep the conflict from getting too ugly.
Notice while breathing this truism: conflict causes crappy conduct. People act like 8 year old's during conflict. They will scream, throw things, withdraw behind a wall of silence, and otherwise hate on their mates. You've seen people act this way and you have acted this way. Its gonna happen sometimes.
So learn to not take things done or said in an argument too personally. This can take forever to learn, but it is well worth it. In five minutes after an argument, we'll start to act like adults again. Don't let the few minutes of childishness overshadow the good between you.
Another powerful way to deal with conflict is to learn to de-escalate. Keep it from getting more heated as much as you can. Sometimes you need to say I need a few minutes to get myself under control, then walk away. Don't withdraw for hours or days, just a few minutes, as shutting your partner out has been shown to cause great damage to a relationship.
Reconnect with your mate after a fight. Don't let anger turn to poison. Say something like "sorry we went off on each other, are you okay?" Don't go hours or days not talking to each other!
If you can learn to breathe, learn to not take it too personally, and reconnect after a fight, you will be doing great. There is more to dealing with conflict well, but this would be a good start.
About the Author:
You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Were Taught In School at Relationship Advice. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Intimacy Relationship Help.
