Long before your little bundle of joy was presented to you, plans for its future had been planted in your heart. Perhaps these plans included the professional world. A doctor, scientist or CEO of a large company, may have been on your list of careers to choose from. Possibly, you saw your little boy or girl as the next Picasso with paintings in every museum or an astronaut headed to the nearest planet. It is normal for parents to make plans and dreams for their young children. As the months and years roll on, the personalities of these little people slowly emerge. Their likes and dislikes slowly become a part of the total package known as your child. Over time you may see signs that your new born has grown up with plans of his own. The hopes and dreams planted in your heart for them somehow don't seem to fit anymore.
One of the first signs that change has occurred, may come when your once totally colored coordinated child runs down the stairs in what at first appears to be a collage of mass color confusion. As your heart suddenly sinks down into your stomach, you are barely able to scream out. In a voice normally reserved for intruders, you verbally march your pre-teen back up the stairs to change into the descent clothing purchased during the last shopping trip. What you have just witnessed is your child's first stand for independence. It won't be the last!
The fact is, this strange manifestation of independence, is really what you want to see in your growing child. It is part of the process. Someone once wrote that parents should strive to give their children roots so they can develop wings. This saying implies that parents need to concentrate on the building blocks to real character that will allow the child to become a strong adult. Values such as respect for your fellow man and right and wrong give children strong internal skills. Stressing consequences for their actions and developing age appropriate house rules go a long way to planting the roots that will go deep enough for the child to take off on his own wings.
When your child feels free to develop their own clothing styles to wear, it shows a couple of good things: it is a sign of leadership; it says that they are comfortable with themselves, and it says that they have developed a mind of their own and not just getting into fads. A parent who sees their child taking steps toward independence should be ready to give this child a pat on their back.
That said, there are clothing issues that might need to be discussed ahead of time. As you observe the apparel of your child's friends, bring up any dislikes you would feel uncomfortable with should your child adopt those fashions. Clothing issues should be discussed before they become a battle ground in your home. Family concerns such as the sudden adoption of only wearing the color black or showing too much flesh are issues that need to be resolved in a calm atmosphere. Take on each issue as it comes. Be open minded about style changes. As we know from experience, style changes at least every generation.
One of the first signs that change has occurred, may come when your once totally colored coordinated child runs down the stairs in what at first appears to be a collage of mass color confusion. As your heart suddenly sinks down into your stomach, you are barely able to scream out. In a voice normally reserved for intruders, you verbally march your pre-teen back up the stairs to change into the descent clothing purchased during the last shopping trip. What you have just witnessed is your child's first stand for independence. It won't be the last!
The fact is, this strange manifestation of independence, is really what you want to see in your growing child. It is part of the process. Someone once wrote that parents should strive to give their children roots so they can develop wings. This saying implies that parents need to concentrate on the building blocks to real character that will allow the child to become a strong adult. Values such as respect for your fellow man and right and wrong give children strong internal skills. Stressing consequences for their actions and developing age appropriate house rules go a long way to planting the roots that will go deep enough for the child to take off on his own wings.
When your child feels free to develop their own clothing styles to wear, it shows a couple of good things: it is a sign of leadership; it says that they are comfortable with themselves, and it says that they have developed a mind of their own and not just getting into fads. A parent who sees their child taking steps toward independence should be ready to give this child a pat on their back.
That said, there are clothing issues that might need to be discussed ahead of time. As you observe the apparel of your child's friends, bring up any dislikes you would feel uncomfortable with should your child adopt those fashions. Clothing issues should be discussed before they become a battle ground in your home. Family concerns such as the sudden adoption of only wearing the color black or showing too much flesh are issues that need to be resolved in a calm atmosphere. Take on each issue as it comes. Be open minded about style changes. As we know from experience, style changes at least every generation.
About the Author:
Dorthy Weatherbush has had rebellious teenagers who have wanted to dress themselves. That's why she let them shop at the Justice For Girls. With her daughters she was always able to find clothing that they could all agree on at the Limited Too.
